Blog Post #7

I want to write about three of acts of kindness that have happened in the last few days with two friends of mine. Two of these events were with a best friend of mine, Kevin, and with a good friend from Whittier College, Michael. These events were by no means “super-hero” or “altruist” acts of kindness, at least to my point of view. To my friends, I’m starting to take notice of more often, these are the small yet valuable moments. The kind where they tell me they are glad to have me as a friend.

Over two visits to Kevin’s house to hang out and watch movies like the usual. The first visit, I came with little cash. Kevin had no cash after recent expenses but wanted a pack of cigarettes. Kevin would ask a favor where I buy a pack for him. No favor was necessary but Kevin was grateful in the end.

The second visit came only two days or so after. We agreed we should eat separate and before I get to his house because we’re poor and don’t want to spend money. However, after an hour into sitting on the couch, Kevin gets hungry. He was so lucky that that very morning, my mother gave me a $20 In N Out gift card which I remembered. So he drove us to In N Out where he got his burger, fries, and drink while I would just get fries and a shake to hold me over.

Tonight, Michael had told me over text that he would like to cut back down on smoking. He told me that he had smoked twice since the beginning of January. He’d sounded like he was ashamed by this number. I really didn’t feel like I was trying to be nice, rather funny, when I said this but “Twice is fine, you cry baby. Don’t sell that short,” seemed comforting to him. He laughed and said I was supportive.

Both Kevin and Michael do tell me they’re glad to have me as a friend but I never verbally communicate such behavior back for whatever reason. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing any real sacrifice or heroics but it’s these little things they see I do for them as friends that make it worth while.

I suppose my way of looking at these acts is more of an egocentric perspective. I understand they need things of me and I know if I were them, I’d want or welcome help. I would also say that part of the purpose for me doing these is the social explanation that I do these things so they’ll like me. I know that they’re true friends when my generosity is reciprocated eventually (Finley, 2020, Caring and Doing For Others, slide 4&5).

People should do these little acts of kindness with the same motivation I have for doing them. As long as you are surrounded by true friends who will reciprocate your care for them, these little acts of kindness will be rewarded in the end. It’s worth it in the end to make short term sacrifices once in a while.